I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
