i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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