its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
