I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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