I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
