I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You're like the curious george of whores
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And then my night got REAL pukey
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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