Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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