they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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