Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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