I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
