It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
