You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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