No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
