We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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