They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
