She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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