my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
