let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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