this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
