Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
