don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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