I puked a lego.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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