do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
