She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
