why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
