He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
