it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
