Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
