So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
