loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This baby is an asshole
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
