Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
