Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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