You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
