I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
