nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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