He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
oh god the rape fog is back!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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