So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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