im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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