yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?