she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
