Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
