Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj
  Replies (48) Good night (1616) Bad night (6123)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance. http://tfl.nu/1cpz
  Replies (16) Good night (8623) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it. http://tfl.nu/04ep
  Replies (13) Good night (3062) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand. http://tfl.nu/l8ik
  Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible... http://tfl.nu/6e9j
  Replies (6) Good night (1789) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water. http://tfl.nu/vrnp
  Replies (1) Good night (1031) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  God you're perfect.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal. (1-303): God you're perfect. (303): I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier. http://tfl.nu/2wzm
  Replies (5) Good night (2140) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance. http://tfl.nu/v36b
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/hirn
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex http://tfl.nu/ior9
  Replies (4) Good night (1080) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home. http://tfl.nu/dxz5
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me http://tfl.nu/upe9
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it. http://tfl.nu/ozbd
  Replies (0) Good night (693) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know http://tfl.nu/z4q4
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit http://tfl.nu/eblp
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (197)

Randomize