Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm lost and stupid without you.

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  (708): I'm lost and stupid without you. http://tfl.nu/d04q
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (709)
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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  (818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw
  Replies (18) Good night (3719) Bad night (869)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

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  (303): i have a dinosaur tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/rh7q
  Replies (60) Good night (8217) Bad night (2124)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit

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  (770): At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit http://tfl.nu/qd4t
  Replies (63) Good night (1165) Bad night (7518)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yes. helicopter.

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  (630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5610) Bad night (991)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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  (610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s
  Replies (17) Good night (6198) Bad night (886)
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  (949): View more from California

  you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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  (949): you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application. http://tfl.nu/ha6k
  Replies (7) Good night (3663) Bad night (941)
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  (310): View more from California

  only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

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  (310): only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man http://tfl.nu/g1rm
  Replies (12) Good night (3277) Bad night (1066)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.

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  (806): I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister. http://tfl.nu/4jvf
  Replies (15) Good night (4418) Bad night (974)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god

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  (406): We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god http://tfl.nu/kj7l
  Replies (2) Good night (1317) Bad night (1345)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.

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  (256): So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome. http://tfl.nu/71bx
  Replies (16) Good night (895) Bad night (2244)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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  (479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9
  Replies (7) Good night (645) Bad night (1498)
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  (424): View more from California

  This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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  (424): This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it http://tfl.nu/0y9z
  Replies (2) Good night (1192) Bad night (469)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.

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  (724): Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful. http://tfl.nu/ekml
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (291)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.

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  (703): And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me. http://tfl.nu/uen9
  Replies (0) Good night (228) Bad night (304)

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