They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?