Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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