speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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