Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
