someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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