Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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