the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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