i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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