Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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