I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize