throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Houston, we have a squirter
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
