dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They are going to name an STD after you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
