This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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