If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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