God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
its not stalking. its research.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it glows. i had to have it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
