Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
