i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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