SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
