i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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