She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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