Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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