well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
