i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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