Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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