I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
50% drunk capacity currently
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
