she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
