she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
