That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
grandma shit on top of the toilet
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
