if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
